I got back to my apartment after stepping out to see The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies (overlong and excruciatingly over-acted) and I see this email in my inbox:
Dear Mr. Post,
Thank you for your patience as we considered your novel. While your narrative style was entertaining, unfortunately we will not be able to find a place for this story in our lineup.
Due to the volume of manuscripts we receive and the press of other business it is impossible for us to go into particulars. Please do not take this rejection as necessarily a reflection on your work; we can accept fewer than one percent of the manuscripts submitted to us.
Best of luck in another market. We hope you will consider submitting again, when you have another story you think will fit the Baen line.
While not as detailed as my rejection from Ace & Roc, this is still benign. Benignity is probably par for the course for these things, I realize. People are so hypersensitive these days that one whiff of brusqueness from an editor would invite an expletive-packed tirade from the irate, insecure author. Editors have probably learned to tiptoe quite carefully around a rejection email like this one, hand-picking the most vaguely encouraging euphemisms. Even so, Mr. Rinehart didn't have to say that my narrative style was entertaining. That was mighty big of him. I guess that earns me one point in the cosmic scheme of things. Huzzah!
That wasn't all, though. Today I received a rejection email from Daily Science Fiction, letting me know that they weren't interested in my 1500-word short story "Letter from the E.T. Killer."
My own stupid fault, really. Stories about serial killers are a dime a dozen. I should have realized that before I wrote it. Oh well. I can't help what my Muse tells me. [sigh] So that's it. No more lines in the water. The manuscript of my first novel, my baby, my magnum opus, the reason God or Zeus or the Great Green Arkleseizure put me on this planet, the glorious creation I was brought into existence to bring into existence, has been rejected by two major publishers. Every story I've written and/or submitted this year has been hurled back in my face with an F.O. letter attached. Bummer, dude. But let's recap. Since I began keeping track of my submissions in late 2012, here's where things stand: 1. Tues, 12/11/12 - Daily Science Fiction ("The Maze," 770 words) - REJECTED 2. Sun, 12/23/12 - Andromeda Spaceways Inflight Magazine ("Incommunicado," 3,440 words) - REJECTED 3. Fri, 1/4/13 - Daily Science Fiction ("Liquid Courage," 1,140 words) - REJECTED 4. Wed, 1/16/13 - Fantastic Frontiers ("Liquid Courage," 1,140 words) - NEVER HEARD BACK 5. Fri, 2/8/13 - Daily Science Fiction ("Plea Bargain," 1,130 words) - REJECTED 6. Fri, 4/19/13 - Daily Science Fiction ("The Time Gun," 2,830 words) - REJECTED 7. Thurs, 6/03/13 - Daily Science Fiction ("The First Twenty-Five Years," 1,740 words) - MADE 2ND ROUND OF REVIEW - REJECTED 8. Fri, 6/26/13 - Daily Science Fiction ("Only One Boot," 980 words) - REJECTED 9. Wed, 8/14/13 - 3LBE ("Liquid Courage," 1,140 words) - REJECTED 10. Wed, 8/14/13 - Space Squid ("The Time Gun," 2,830 words) - REJECTED 11. Thurs, 1/23/14 - Asimov's Science Fiction ("Plea Bargain," 1,130 words) - REJECTED 12. Wed, 1/29/14 - Asimov's Science Fiction ("The First Twenty-Five Years," [revised] 2,700 words) - REJECTED 13. Wed, 1/29/14 - Ace and Roc Science Fiction & Fantasy ("Revival," 112,000 words) - REQUESTED MANUSCRIPT 8/27/14 - REJECTED 14. Mon, 2/10/14 - Daily Science Fiction ("The First 25 Years," [R] 2,700 words) - REJECTED 15. Wed, 3/12/14 - Daily Science Fiction ("The Body Politic," 2,600 words) - REJECTED 16. Tues, 3/18/14 - Analog Science Fiction & Fact ("Plea Bargain," 1,130 words) - NEVER HEARD BACK 17. Mon, 4/21/14 - Daily Science Fiction ("That's Gratitude For You," 1,130 words) - REJECTED 18. Fri, 5/2/14 - Daily Science Fiction ("Boxing Day," 1,080 words) - REJECTED 19. Mon, 6/30/2014 - Baen Books ("Revival," 114,500 words) - ID No: 10240 - REJECTED 20. Mon, 10/20/2014 - Daily Science Fiction ("Emeritus," 1,630 words) - REJECTED 21. Thurs, 10/30/2014 - Fiction Vortex ("The First 25 Years," [revised] 2,700 words) - REJECTED 22. Mon, 11/17/2014 - Clarkesworld ("The First 25 Years," [revised] 2,700 words) - REJECTED 23. Mon, 12/8/2014 - Daily Science Fiction ("Letter from the E.T. Killer," 1,500 words) - REJECTED Well, looky here. Two measly submissions in 2012. Eight in 2013. Twelve in 2014...getting better. And two (going on four) more novels written since then. I guess I must be serious about becoming a writer, huh? Twenty-three submissions, twenty-three rejections. I'm going to try to triple that next year. My New Year's resolutions for 2015 are: write every day; submit at least two or three times a month; finish up Novel #4 and Novel #5, and finish Novel #6 (whatever that may be). Do another NaNoWriMo (Novel #7, I guess). And most importantly, find an agent. I've decided to start querying them anyway, even if I don't have a body of published work. I may be shouting into the void, but there may be a faint echo. Who knows? Wish me luck.
Ace & Roc Science Fiction & Fantasy has rejected my manuscript.
...but very gently. You remember how I interrupted the tale of my Southeast Asia tour to tell you that A&R liked my query and wanted to see the full manuscript of Revival? Well, they sent me this email on October 14: Dear Mr. Post,
Thank you for submitting Revival to Ace / Roc. I apologize for the continued delayed response—but part of the delay was you were under consideration for longer! I appreciate the opportunity to read your submission, but I’m sorry to say that in the current crowded market, this does not sound to me like a book that we can make into a success.
Your novel shows potential in you; perhaps you should try to find an agent. A literary agent can be a great way to start on the road to publishing, as they can offer writing guidance and help you find the best publishing houses to submit your work to. THE WRITER’S MARKET (www.writersmarket.com) lists literary agents, as does PUBLISHERS MARKETPLACE at www.publishersmarketplace.com. SFWA (Science Fiction and Fantasy Writers of America) has information on finding reputable literary agents (and avoiding scams) at www.sfwa.opg/for-authors/writer-beware .
You can also look to find writer’s groups in your area, who can help you to develop your own writing.
We do wish you the best of luck with other publishers, and thank you again for thinking of us.
Regrets and best wishes,
The Editorial Staff
Ace/Roc Science Fiction & Fantasy A rejection, yes. But as kind and encouraging a rejection as any aspiring writer could hope to receive. It was also a wake-up call. I'd been mighty puffed up and hadn't realized it. I shouldn't have ignored Moonrat's advice to never submit without an agent. It was also a seminal moment. This is the first time that I've ever been rejected and still felt that the work in question was worthwhile—that it wasn't a steamy pile of crap and should be burned to a crisp and scattered to the four winds. I haven't had the urge to go back and gut the story, rewriting and editing for endless hours until it's fit again for human eyes. It seems Ace & Roc just didn't think it was a paying proposition, that's all. That doesn't mean the work itself was irredeemably awful. It has potential. Well, I guess you know what this means, folks. It's time for ol' Andy Post to square his shoulders, edit Novel #3, finish Novel #4, commence Novel #5... ...and wait to see what the editor at Baen Books says. They've got my manuscript now too, remember? I sent it off to them in late June, when I thought that Ace & Roc would never get back to me. Baen's reporting time is 9-12 months, so I've got to sit on my laurels for a while.
But I won't be idle. I'll be writing short stories (a 1,600-word piece entitled "Emeritus" was sent to Daily Science Fiction last week) and working on the aforementioned novels. I look at my first rejection by a major publisher as a blessing in disguise. Thin disguise, in fact. Oh, and in other news...it looks like Stephen King totally ripped off the title of my magnum opus for his next novel! Why, that ham. My idol has stabbed me in the back. Postie out.
I'd like to have a few things cleared up before I proceed any further with the account of the U.K. and Ireland. This was precipitated by my most recent blogging acquisition, Talli Roland, whose most recent post held some advice for bloggers. In her post, Talli delineates ten ways to make your blog "work." These include following bloggers who follow you, and following other bloggers so they'll follow you; returning and responding to comments; keeping your posts brief; making sure your blog's color scheme and font are easy-to-read; making sure your blog loads quickly; etc. Much as I dislike the notion of abasing myself before you, a pack of spittle-soaked mendicants, and pandering to your every whim, begging for your opinion like some kind of weak-minded sycophant... I have some questions for you. Let this stand as the Sententious Vaunter's first-ever quality and customer service survey. Your responses will help keep this blog fresh, easy-to-use, reasonably priced, better tasting and less filling. I'm going to ask you a few questions and I'd like you to answer them honestly. I appreciate it.
Does this blog take an unreasonably long time to load? Do you find yourself waiting, drumming your fingers, humming distractedly, getting up for a cup of coffee, or cursing the Postman's name as you wait for the page to appear on the screen?
Is this blog easy to read? Is the font too small? Are the colors hard on your eyes? Do you find yourself collapsing into a fit of photosensitive epilepsy just trying to read the dates and titles?
Are this blog's posts too long?Are this blog's posts too long? Do you ever feel frustrated with the massive volume of drivel which the Postman deluges you with on a biweekly basis? Do you desire a little light reading and instead feel as though you've set out to read The Iliad or Moby-Dick?
Is there anything missing from this blog, or anything unnecessary on it? Would you like to see a list of back-links? Is the arrangement of widgets on this blog satisfactory, or do they need to be reordered or shuffled about? Do we really need a translations box? How many Japanese people read this blog anyway?
Does this blog ramble too much? Do you feel as though the posts on this blog lack focus? Ever find yourself scrolling down through a lengthy post to pick up the story again? Feel like you're waiting forever for the other shoe to drop? Does the Postman digress too much in his ramblings?
Are you getting tired of seeing the phrase "this blog" in every question in this survey? I hope you are, because I'm getting damn tired of typing it.
What color underwear are you wearing? Just checking to see if you're still awake. You don't have to answer that. Unless you really want to, of course.
Please leave a comment below and clue me in on how I'm doing. Most of these questions have been pestering me for some time, and it's high time I do something about it. If I'm going to make a permanent thing out of blogging, I might as well throw a little quality control into the business. It's only fair that you folks have at least as much fun reading this blog as I have writing it. Oops, I said "this blog" again.
While we're on the subject of what I should or shouldn't be doing in writing this blog, I must confess at this point that I have absolutely no clue what I'm doing. Honestly. I don't know how to be a blogger, or even if there's any right way to do it. I definitely think that I should avoid exclusively writing down how I feel about things, like so many other bubble-headed know-nothings out there in the blogsphere. I also feel like I have to be able to put down what I want to put down; otherwise it won't be personal, nor fun to keep.
But I still am unsure whether I am actually, successfully carrying off a blog. I've gotten a few comments thus far, but nowhere near the numerical amount requisite to successfully audit or assess the success or efficaciousness of my work. Simply put, I have no idea whether I'm (a) being totally brilliant at putting a wide variety of interesting information and thought-provoking musings on here; or (b) merely spouting platitudes, dry anecdotes, and uninteresting drivel. I suspect the truth lies somewhere between the two.
So, to that end, I seek your aid and succor. I crave your assistance. Give me some feedback. Anything. Tell me if the design stinks. Tell me if this blog is suitably informative or just so much bleating. Let me know if it's inane or provocative, dull or engaging, insipid or variegated, hackneyed or refreshing. Anything that occurs to you to put down, put down, and you'll have my heartfelt thanks.
The real confirmation lies in the fact that I'm writing a post like this and I have, to date, only two followers on Blogger. Insert weak laugh here.
