In the days since I began this ersatz hiatus, I've applied for four jobs; taken about six practice tests for my final pilot's exam (five of which I've miserably flunked); and memorized coffee drinks for Lesson 6—now I just have to learn the wine drinks. I've progressed not one inch further with the second edit of the novel, let alone the furlong I was hoping for.
I haven't written anything else of substance: short stories, science fiction, even travel articles.
You'd think with a year-long sojourn in the Orient under my belt I would've come up with more than two articles. Maybe I'm lazier than I thought. Or just scared, I don't know. It's frustrating as hell either way. I keep promising to kick this hesitation and yet I haven't. I seem to be hesitant to stop hesitating.
I reckon I'll get my head on straight here soon. I'd better. My money's almost gone, my prospects are nonexistent, and there's a wedding in England I need to get to in June. I'll keep you posted... No, wait! I'm supposedly still on hiatus, blast it all! Bad Postman! Bad, bad Postman! No biscuit! Bad blogger! Sit...stay...staaaaaaaaay...
9 comments:
Maybe you're being a bit hard on yourself?
Everything needs time to gestate before it gets off the ground, even when it seems longer than it "should." Trust your process.
Yeah, Polly, he is. Have another shot of the Crow and calm down. Uh huh.
Well, being hard on myself is one of the few things I'm good at.
(See? I'm doing it again.)
Nobody else is going to set high standards for me. I'm going to be self-employed, after all. I'll take heed of your advice and trust my process, though. I've never heard that phrase before. I like it.
Wouldn't say no to a shot of that Crow, though.
I came back to tell you that I didn't want you to think I was being insensitive or dismissive about my last comment.
I guess, because I'm older than you, I know you're going to be just fine- because I can clearly see you're a thinker and self starter.
I do so relate to what you're saying though. I mean, I had my goals set for this week and have gotten most of them done- today is Tuesday, but I could have done more.
I could have called my printer after I restructured the name and logo of one of our businesses and ordered cards, but I didn't. Even after a new website and new look, I'm still going to fret I didn't call the printer.
That's stupid. I know it's stupid. I imagine the printer will still be there tomorrow.
Pass that bottle, Postie.
This is amusing - I just came from responding to EC's comment on my blog about my "shot of crow."
And I heartily second EC's statement of belief in you. I mean, look at you - you're becoming a pilot and a bartender all at once! You're awesome. There are few 23-year-olds I've known that are as accomplished and on-track as you.
You realize, of course, that we're saying all of this stuff because we selfishly want to keep you around the blogosphere as much as possible. But still, every word is true.
EC: Nah, nah, that wasn't dismissive or insensitive! And as an über-sensitive guy, I can tell. That was comforting. Have a shot of bourbon, man. Take it easy. Sometimes I just need to be told in short, simple terms like that.
I'm quite flattered that you think I'm a self-starter. I'll bet if I was one of your employees you'd realize the truth quite soon.
Of course the printer will be there tomorrow (well, today by now)! Don't worry about it. And I know you're still in business BECAUSE you fret (like the CEO of Intel once said, "Only the paranoid survive") but sometimes people fret too much. That's probably what I'm doing with this post. Thanks for the perspective, friend. Good to know even responsible adults like you get worried sometimes.
Now I know what to get you for your birthday...sugar-free margarita mix!
Polly: HA! Good pun! "A shot of crow..." Man, sometimes the level of convergence around here scares me.
Well, thanks very much I'm sure. Maybe I am being a bit hard on myself. I was also feeling rather ashamed of myself yesterday about living at home when I'm 23...but that was before Mom turned to me and said, "You know, your father and I BOTH lived with our parents in our twenties, after graduating college, just to save money." Now I don't feel so bad. And I also know now that my folks truly don't mind having me here. Whew...
Yes, yes, I know. And I'm flattered. I'll have to make sure I keep up the level of scintillating, mellifluous, ribald blogging around here.
Thanks a bunch, you guys. I mean it. I feel loads better now.
I cam back to see if you felt better now.
Good. ;)
This is funny though, this crow theme! We both have Old Crow and Polly's got a "shot of Crow" on her blog! Que Twilight Zone theme...
On another note, I have come to realize, remember when I was mentioning my staffing issue? that I am always going to have staffing issues to a greater or lesser degree primarily because my company is getting BIG.
One (of my companies) in particular is up to 52 events every single month and growing so... that's plenty of fret material, huh?
I do feel better. Thanks a million.
Rod Serling, eat your heart out. As the final touch, I consumed a double-shot of bourbon before I wrote this.
Which company is getting big? Fifty-two events a month! That's...waitaminnit...almost two events a DAY! Zowie! Nice job...yes, plenty of fret material...but plenty of revenue, plenty of soul-watering success and plenty of prestige. Bask in it, friend, bask in it.
Not staying at all! ;D
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