Saturday, April 17, 2010

School of Hooch (last call)

I'm done with bartender's school.

That's right, folks. I have successfully mixed, poured, shaken, stirred, blended, and garnished my way through the School of Hooch. Passed the final practical exam today. Phase I of my Tripartite Plan for Total World Domination is complete.


It was relatively simple. I drove down to Riverside this morning, studied up on a few drinks I was uncertain about (the kir royale, champagne cocktail and blow job foremost among them). Then Tanya gave me the test, and I passed it. Perfectly. Not a single mistake.

I didn't call out the cherry garnish for the Mai Tai, but that was because Tanya had already ordered the next drink, and she didn't dock me for it.

This was my third try, but what the heck? I'm finished, and that's what matters, right?

Then I got me some training on the POS system, using the school's computer in the corner of the room. I familiarized myself with the intricacies of charging people money for their poison, and then suddenly I was done. Tanya printed me out my certificate of completion, and I left the school with my head spinning and my heart singing.

Next Monday, I'll be going in at 9:30 with my résumé in hand to see about getting placed with a job at a bar somewhere. Needless to say, I sang along with Van Halen's "Everybody Wants Some" especially loudly on the way back up the I-15 this evening.
There remains but to finish getting my pilot's license, and get my novel published. Then I'll have accomplished almost everything I wanted to do in my lower twenties. ...well, except for obtaining my commercial pilot's license, that is. And going to Antarctica. And singing in a barbershop quartet. And getting laid in the back of a Camaro.
But I'll get around to those eventually.

15 comments:

Claire Dawn said...

Congratulations! YAY!

Now good luck on the job hunt. Things are looking up. You just might be able to fit in the England trip.

How's 2015 for Antartica? I totally want to go too. And there's no reason 5 years wouldn't be enough to save up. Now, if only I could save...

Lastly, you've never ben laid in the back of a Camaro. *shakes head* I am very disappointed in you, my child.

lol

Jane Jones said...

Ahhhh I can't believe you finally passed! Way to go! Congratulations, kudos, etc.!
Pwwft, you have already done so much for someone your age, I think that it is a sure bet that you will accomplish the rest of your goals before, say, 27.

Pat Tillett said...

I've thought about going to a bartending school myself. Not for a job, but just for fun. You do get to drink there, don't you?

dolorah said...

Awesome!! I'm so thrilled for you. I knew you could do it because you worked so hard at it.

Way to go A.

......dhole

David J. M. Samson said...

Oh ACE!

"Tick" that off the list and enjoy it.

Excellent news mate x

A.T. Post said...

Claire: Just might be able to fit it in after all. Here's hoping. Thanks for the congrats.

Heh heh. I sure WISH I could save...too many good books out there.

I'm getting around to the Camaro thing, all right?!

See you in Antarctica. 2015. My buddy Bryan and I are actually plotting something like that just about that time...

Jane: Ha! Finally. Six months. Made it. Thanks for the congratulations, friend. They mean a lot to me.

Okay then! Twenty-seven's the new deadline. [glances at watch] JEEZ! I've only got three years!

Pat: It is fun, I admit. Some of the most amazing anecdotes you'll hear...but no drinking. It's colored water. Blast it all.

DH: Thank you so much. You're too kind. Appreciate you stopping by and saying so.

You too, Star Child. "Oh ACE" pretty much describes my feelings right now. Another to-do list item bites the dust! Thanks a million, friend.

A.T. Post said...

Claire: Just might be able to fit it in after all. Here's hoping. Thanks for the congrats.

Heh heh. I sure WISH I could save...too many good books out there.

I'm getting around to the Camaro thing, all right?!

See you in Antarctica. 2015. My buddy Bryan and I are actually plotting something like that just about that time...

Jane: Ha! Finally. Six months. Made it. Thanks for the congratulations, friend. They mean a lot to me.

Okay then! Twenty-seven's the new deadline. [glances at watch] JEEZ! I've only got three years!

Pat: It is fun, I admit. Some of the most amazing anecdotes you'll hear...but no drinking. It's colored water. Blast it all.

DH: Thank you so much. You're too kind. Appreciate you stopping by and saying so.

You too, Star Child. "Oh ACE" pretty much describes my feelings right now. Another to-do list item bites the dust! Thanks a million, friend.

Jerry said...

I can make a Cuba Libre. All I need to do now is learn how to make 234 more drinks and I could be a professional bartender like you.

Congrats. You are beginning to soar.

Unspoken said...

No doubt about it, you are on your way!

Mia Hayson said...

Yay! Everybody knows that all sucessful world domination plans involve a bar tendering phase, and that's a fact.

So, um, can you now make a cyber-cocktail then? If I ask for the usual what would I get?

Dude, I'm sure you can complete your list. 27 is aaagges away. You've got time fit in do a vitory lap of honour afterwards :~)

Mary Witzl said...

Congratulations!

That drink photograph looks pretty good, but the soaring temperatures here may have something to do with that. Going to Antarctica is starting to sound pretty good in fact.

Aren't Camaros supposed to be unsafe at any speed, or am I thinking about some other car? :o)

Olivia J. Herrell, writing as O.J. Barré said...

Way to go, P!!!! Congrats all around. Did you say you were unclear on a blow job?? Haha, I giggled.

As for the novel, dude, you're due...and it's coming. The camaro, ouch, those things got tiny back seats. Might have to settle for the bj in there, ohhhh, I did NOT say that!

The closest I'll probably come to Antarctica (unless it moves up here, and it just might) is the Facebook friend I have there, link up with me on FB and I'll introduce you!

P.S. Sooo happy for you!

A.T. Post said...

Mmm, Cuba Libres. I love those. And you're giving me way too much credit. I only had to memorize 141 drinks. One hundred and forty, if we rule out Cuba Libres.

Thanks for the sentiment. You must come to town and have a drink sometime.

She Writes: Why thanks! Here goes nothin'!

Mia: 'Course. Can't rule the world without booze, for Pete's sake.

Well, I'll be darned. They have cyber cocktail parties now? What do they drink? If you asked for the usual, I'd probably ask what your poison is (vodka, I'm guessing?)...

Here's hoping. Four more years to conquer the world. Thanks for stopping in, Mia. Good to see you.

Mrs. Witzl: You might be thinking of the Pinto. (Heh heh.)

Rebel: Hey there! Thanks a lot! And yes, I was always unclear on blow jobs. You have a FACEBOOK FRIEND in Antarctica?! How is this possible? Somebody at McMurdo or something?

Thanks for the kind words and congratulations. They mean a lot to me.

Laura said...

"Shaken, not stirred" (better said in Sean Connery's voice...lol)

Congratulations, Mr. P!! Great news!

Listen, Antarctica can wait a bit. Better get in a hotter place first. Like the back of that Camaro. Just sayin'.


p.s. So sorry I've missed your blogs lately...Life's been silly busy.
But I'll be back. ( said in Arnold Schwarzenegger's voice. haha)

A.T. Post said...

Thank you very much, Laura! Excellent Sean Connery impression (I can just hear it).

Right...well, perhaps I can move the Camaro up the list a little bit...heh heh.

P.S. No worries. My life's been crazy busy at the moment as well. Thank you, come again!