"It's a major award"

Yes, I stole that line from A Christmas Story, when Ralphie's father is out in the snowy street, forcing his poor, embarrassed wife to readjust the kinky nylon-stocking lamp in the window, much to the interest of everybody in Cleveland Street. Swede Larson comes along and asks, "What is that?" "It's a major award," the father replies, in a would-be casual sort of voice. "Hell, I wouldn't a' knowed that," Swede says in turn. "It looks like a lamp!"

Well, then, I announce to you (in a would-be casual sort of voice), that I have been nominated for and accepted my first blogging award. It's the Superior Scribbler Award, and I was nominated by one very talented blogger and multifaceted writer, Carrie, from [carrotspeak.]. She holds the dubious distinction of being, simultaneously, a resident of Kentucky, an Army fiancée, and a self-proclaimed Twitard (a fan of the Twilight series by Stephanie Meyer). She's also a kind, insightful, generous, giving soul, and that comes out in her sweet, humorous, poignantly on-target scribblings. This award comes with some caveats, however. You must...

• Thank whomever nominated you for it...
• Post, paste, or patch the award's image onto your own blog...
• Tell your readers seven things they don't yet know about you...
• Pass it along to seven more bloggers...
• And notify them personally when you have done so.

Well, I've done number one and number two. Here goes number three.

1. Unlike a deplorably large portion of the male population, I do not prefer blondes. I actually like brunettes and redheads 99% of the time. A notable exception would be...[sigh]...Maria Sharapova. Six feet and two inches of buttery blonde Russian goodness.
2. I have broken two bones in my short life: my right wrist (following an ill-fated swing on a forest vine during a Boy Scout trip) and my tailbone (long story). Neither compared to the pain of compressing a disc in my back.
3. All of the text messages I send are grammatically correct. Occasionally I'll stoop to using emoticons, but there's none of this "C U LATR" or "I H8 U" or "LOL" or "LOLZ" or "ROTFLMAO" nonsense.
4. I have lived in six states: Virginia, Ohio, Tennessee, Wyoming, North Dakota, and California.
5. On a related note, I have lived in California for most of my life (eight nonconsecutive years) and have never been to Disneyland. Apparently that's some sort of crime against humanity. You should see the way my fellow Californians' eyeballs bug out when they hear.
6. I'm something of a clotheshorse. I have a thing for outerwear in particular. Coats, jackets, vests...all of it. One can never have too many coats; weather comes in all shapes and sizes, y'know. My favorite is the Old West-style duster I picked up from Sportsman's Guide. It's a long brown canvas coat that goes down to mid-calf, with two big camel pockets on the sides and a slit up the back (for riding a horse). I like to wear it on windy days, when it blows out behind me in a dramatic fashion.
7. My favorite pizza joint is Papa John's. Pizza Hut just can't cut the mustard anymore. And don't get me started on Domino's...

Okay, enough about me, let's hear it for the nominees for the Superior Scribbler Award!

1. The Pollinatrix and her wonderful blog, The Whole Blooming World.
2. Smithy, from the fascinating, forthright, globetrotting blog smithyblogs.
3. JennyMac, author of the eminently juicy and inherently satirical Let's have a cocktail....
4. Entrepreneur Chick, source of the brassy, witty, no-holds-barred blog of the same name.
5. Mary Witzl of ResidentAlien, a delightful look into the entertaining, exotic (and sometimes frustrating) life of a chronic expatriate and her family.
6. gimme a minute, the anonymous master of all things bleak and ironic at Stranded on Gaia.
7. My friend Caleb, the prelate-to-be, getting started early with Thorns.

Whew! Okay, that's done. I know I'm new to this blogging business and I'm nominating people here who are much better at it than I am (which means the award probably doesn't mean very much coming from little ol' me) but still, I think these guys deserve some recognition in the blogsphere for the entertaining and illuminating things that they're scribbling. Hence the award. I also know that this award positively reeks of a chain letter, whose ilk I abhor with every fiber of my being. But despite the nature of the award, it was given to me sincerely, and so as not to defame or defile that sincerity, I intend to stick to the rules of the thing and pass it on as requested. So there.

This concludes our ceremonies for the evening. Please move to the lounge for drinks and light refreshments. Tomorrow: bingo.